


ROGERS: An American Musical

by HopeNight



Category: Captain America (Movies), Captain America - All Media Types, Hamilton - Miranda, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Canon Divergence - Post-Captain America: The Winter Soldier, Fox News Gets Dragged, M/M, Post-Captain America: The Winter Soldier, Stucky Big Bang 2016
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-29
Updated: 2016-09-03
Packaged: 2018-08-11 19:46:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 11,317
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7905289
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HopeNight/pseuds/HopeNight
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In the MCU, instead of picking up a biography of Alexander Hamilton, Lin-Manuel Miranda picks up a biography of Steve Rogers. This changes things. While the world goes insane for the musical, Steve and the man who believes himself to be Bucky Barnes find their own ways to take control of their narratives.</p><p>So here's the real question: <i>How does a half-dead orphan born in the middle of a forgotten spot in the tenements of New York without a father and raised by a single mother grow up to be the first and only super soldier? </i></p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> WELCOME! It's my Stucky Big Bang fic! Woo-hoo! After a long, very long, summer, I have written this bizarre beast of a fic. And I hope that you all really enjoy it. 
> 
> Thanks to the mods over at the [thestuckylibrary](http://thestuckylibrary.tumblr.com/) for running this thing. Also special thanks to Lizzy for helping me look this over! 
> 
> Give amazing props to my incredible artists: [secondalto](http://secondalto.tumblr.com/) who did the [podfic](https://soundcloud.com/katy-hart-201041025/rogers-an-american-musical/) and [pugglemuggle](http://pugglemuggle.tumblr.com/) for the [playbill](http://pugglemuggle.tumblr.com/post/149635693108/rogers-an-american-musical-by-hopenight-fic). 
> 
> So check those out! 
> 
> Also I am not LMM so yeah, my lyrics probably aren't the best. Luckily most of them are just snatches. So you only have to suffer through two songs of me trying to be him. Whee!
> 
> I hope you enjoy this fic as much as I loved writing it!

Here’s the thing about Steve Rogers. At heart, he is not a vain man. He does not Google himself, search out for movies about his person, look for biographies, or any of the other hundred pieces of media made about him. He has no desire to see them in any way, shape, or form. He’s made it pretty clear to his friends, co-workers, teammates, casual acquaintances, random passers-by, reporters, and even the occasional pigeon that would rest on his windowsill in DC that he is just not interested. 

As stated before, it feels vain. Steve Rogers has faults, but vanity has never been a large one. Anything for him to be vain about, to paraphrase an angry Tony Stark, came out of a bottle in the 40s. 

Being awake in the 21st century for a few years now, he’s pretty much figured out the way people perceived him. 

CAPTAIN AMERICA! He’s the stalwart and true hero. Don’t forget to put a bullet in the barrel of your best guy’s gun. He doesn’t curse, doesn’t get angry, and doesn’t have a bad day. Captain America is no less than perfect. He is whatever you want him to be, unless you are of course wrong about who he is. Then Captain America will shame you forever. 

There are several hundred million people in the United States, and they each have their own idea about who their icon should be. 

Steve Rogers is just the poor bastard who has to shoulder a legacy that outgrew him as he slept in the ice. He was the American Arthurian Myth: their Once and Future King. 

Steve had a feeling that none of the media, none of the people really got who the man was underneath the myth. 

After all, Steve Rogers was meant to be a cog in the machine. 

It’s like a Rule amongst the Avengers: do not show Steve stuff based on himself. Not even for humor purposes. Like Natasha threatened Tony with harm if he ever tried to make them watch one of the movies during movie night. She even got JARVIS in on the conspiracy somehow because nothing remotely related to Steve’s pop culture influence will show up in the Tower or the systems at all. 

Steve may be playing pop culture catch-up, but he still is fairly ignorant on current-current pop culture. The emergencies of the Avengers, the search for Bucky, and trying to smoke out HYDRA takes up a ton of his time. 

So, ironically, he really is the last to know about the phenomena. 

It actually takes him a stupidly, embarrassingly long time to learn of the musical that literally sweeps the nation. 

Whoops. 

So the real question is… 

_How does a half-dead orphan born in the middle of a forgotten spot in the tenements of New York without a father and raised by a single mother grow up to be the first and only super soldier?_

 

 **PLAYBILL  
** Richard Rogers Theatre 

The image is reminiscent of the iconic shield: the white star on the red and blue background. The top point of the star, however, is the smaller Steve Rogers hoisting what appears to be a trashcan lid into the air.

In the center of the star is the following: 

**ROGERS  
** **An American Musical**

****_Cast List_  
Steve Rogers…………………………………………………………………….………….......……..…..LIN-MANUEL MIRANDA  
( _at some performances the part of Steve Rogers is played by Eli Bradley)_  
Bucky Barnes……………………………………………………………………………………....…..……………LESLIE ODOM, JR.  
Peggy Carter……………………………………………………………………………….......…….….RENEE ELISE GOLDSBERRY  
Abraham Erksine/Gabriel Jones….………………………………………………………..............….CHRISTOPHER JACKSON  
Sarah Rogers/Jim Morita………………………………………………………………….........….…………..……..PHILIPPA SOO  
Howard Stark/Jacques Dernier…………………………………………………………..........…..……………….DAVEED DIGGS  
Chester Philips/Timothy “Dum Dum” Dugan……………………………………....................……..OKIERIETE ONADOWAN  
Gilmore Hodge/James Falsworth………………………….……………………………................……….....ANTHONY RAMOS  
Johann Schmidt ……………………………………………………………………………..........………………..JONATHAN GROFF  
Ensemble  


_THERE WILL BE ONE 15 MINUTE INTERMISSION_

**_2009_ **

_Steve Rogers: The Kid From Brooklyn_ is an absolutely massive beast of a biography. It clocks in at around eight hundred some pages, and could probably killed a man if struck with enough force in the right spot. 

(Actually, in one instance, when the Black Widow was posing as a college student the book was used to kill an enemy agent. But that’s a story for another day.) 

The book was written by one Robert Barnes-Proctor, son of Rebecca Barnes-Proctor who was the sister of James Buchanan Barnes. A few years younger than her older brother, Mrs. Barnes-Proctor would grow up to become a huge proponent of feminist and veteran causes. She has tried to sue people for the wrongful depiction of Bucky Barnes as a teenage sidekick. That didn’t exactly work. 

Becca has also been banned from FOX News along with her son. 

It’s a point of family pride. Along with flipping the bird at the heroic stoic not at all Steve and Bucky statue that depicts them as humorless prigs rather than the people they were. 

(Steve Rogers feelings on this would be a huge sigh and a quiet “ _Really_?” that accurately conveyed his disdain.) 

 _Brooklyn_ is considered to be the most complete account of Captain Steve Rogers life, focusing hugely on his early years leading up to the famous serum procedure. Rather than the myth that sprung from Captain America, it focused on the good man over the perfect soldier popularly (and wrongly) portrayed in media. 

It was received well by scholars and did crack the _New York Times_ Bestsellers list, but the general public wasn’t that interested in it. Eventually, it would have just been lost to the shadow of the Captain America brand. 

That is, however, until Lin-Manuel Miranda needed some beach reading for his vacation and decided that an eight hundred some page book on Steve Rogers life was the perfect choice. 

Things changed after that, even if no one really was cognizant of this fact at the time. 

Hindsight is often twenty-twenty after all.

 

**THE ASSET (2014)**

The Asset, for reasons unknown even to him, has not left the country. The Asset has not even attempted to cross the borders into Mexico or Canada. The Asset left the waterlogged form of the Mission-no not the Miss-the- 

S- 

 _BZZZT_  

The Asset has not returned to HYDRA. The Asset will not return to HYDRA. HYDRA has had many heads and many tentacles, but it seems like they are being exposed. There is a panic on Capitol Hill and in the U.N. tonight. 

There has been a Secret Invasion on Earth, and no one never even realized it. 

_(“It’s like Erksine said, Buck. First country the Nazis invaded was their own. Things like that…it starts on the inside.”)_

He must clear out the Invasion of HYDRA. 

Cut of the head, it will regrow. 

Cauterize the stump, it will stop.

 

**_2015_ **

**starspangled-spam** reblogged from **the_actual_hell**

GUYS YOU NEED TO LEARN ABOUT THIS GODDAMN MUSICAL! 

Alright so the guy who made _In The Heights_ has been like spending the past few years being a genius and shit by making a fucking musical about Steve goddamn Rogers aka Captain motherfucking America. 

WELL GUESS WHO SAW IT OPENING FUCKING NIGHT AT THE PUBLIC THEATRE Y’ALL?! 

(ANSWER: ME!) 

And let me tell you about this fucking musical. It’s a goddamn revelation. Because I admit that I was skeptical at first. I mean who wouldn’t be? Captain America and hip-hop? Like there is something that does not compute. But then you see it, and learn his story and it is so sad you guys but like super uplifting. And I left wondering how Steve Rogers could get so buried under the whole Captain America cultural myth you know? And the whole cast is POC and the music is super cool and it’s fucking amazing. Like I have goosebumps and am so pumped and I cried like a baby during the whole performance. And if you haven’t bought your tickets yet now, then you need to do it ASAP. 

Otherwise, you will never see this. This is such a game changer you guys I am not even kidding. 

Tags: #rogers, #lin manuel miranda, #steve rogers, #first borns may need to be sold 

302 notes

**“Breathe”**

_Steve is having an asthma attack. Sarah enters with a bowl of water and a towel._

**STEVE**  
Ma Ma Ma

 **SARAH**  
Hush. Hush. Hush.  
Steven, sweetheart, I know it’s hard.  
I know your throat is tight and your lungs are working over time. 

_Sarah drapes the towel over Steve’s head._

_Wheezing._

**SARAH**  
Just follow my lead, Steve.  
My heart and soul, I need you to breathe.  
One two three four five six seven eight nine  
Once we hit ten, then we can start again.

 **STEVE  
** One. T-Two. 

_Wheeze. Wheeze. Wheeze._

**SARAH**  
Please. Please my sweet boy. Stay with me.

_The towel falls away and the water basin disappears. Sarah kneels in front of Steve. She dabs lightly at his forehead._

**STEVE**  
Ma. 

 **SARAH**  
Hush.  
_(beat)_  
Steve, why do you need to keep getting into trouble like this?  
Problems don’t disappear when you answer with your fists.

 **STEVE**  
They don’t stop unless I do this!  
Bullies just keep on kicking and hitting  
And I can’t keep listening to this vitriol they’re spitting  
They’re saying these things and it just makes me so- 

_Cough._

**SARAH**  
Breathe, Steve, breathe  
Sweetheart, follow my lead  
Count to ten and then we begin again  
One, two, three

 **STEVE**  
O-One, Two, Th-Three

 **SARAH AND STEVE  
** Just gotta breathe…

 

**_2012_ ** ****

**CAPTAIN AMERICA CONFIRMED TO BE THE ACTUAL STEVE ROGERS**

By Lana Jones 

Amidst the devastation from the alien attack on Midtown, one question that most have been asking is the identity to Captain America. It has been decades since someone had donned the Captain suit. The last was in the 1950’s by the name of William Burnside, who disappeared sometime in the 60’s after being brought up on assault charges. 

SHIELD, the organization in charge of the group called The Avengers, has officially released a statement about the identity of this new Captain America. Except, Captain America turns out not to be so new after all. SHIELD is reporting that the Captain America who fought recently with the Avengers is Captain Steve Rogers, the original and successful recipient of the legendary super soldier serum during World War II. 

The statement reads that…

 

 **To:**[T.Kail@freemail.com](mailto:T.Kail@freemail.com)  
**From:**[LMM@freemail.com](mailto:LMM@freemail.com)  
**Subject:** Re: Well it’s been confirmed 

Tom- 

Do you think there’s a way we can keep a ticket permanently on reserve when we get started up? 

Don’t worry, I was already working on a new ending. 

Lin

 

**“JESUS CHRIST, STEVIE”**

**rogerstrash1918** posted 

I need to talk about the most underrated song in like the history of ever. 

AKA “Jesus Christ, Stevie” from _Rogers._  

Or as I mentally call it the “Hoe don’t do it” song. 

It’s literally the best thing that I have ever heard in my life. Like Leslie Odom Jr’s Bucky’s utter DONE-NESS over LMM’s Steve’s WE GOTTA DO THE THING. 

“STEVE! NO!” 

“STEVE YES!” 

*sigh* 

“Goddammit. I just got this vest.” 

*fighting in the distance* 

It’s the best. I’m crying. I am so happy this song exists. The tone of “how fucking done I am” in LOJ’s voice is fantastic. God bless. 

1,039 notes

**_2015_ ** ****

**youdontownme** posted 

SO I WAS LISTENING TO THE ROGERS SOUNDTRACK AND IT HIT ME. 

STEVE ROGERS WITH A TWITTER. 

GOING ON TWITTER RANTS ABOUT HOW PEOPLE ON THE INTERNET ARE WRONG.

YELLING AT POLITICIANS AND LINDA FROM THE PTA. 

C’MON CAP GET A TWITTER. IT WILL FEEL SO GOOD I WILL FOLLOW YOU FOREVER. 

Tags: #you know it would be awesome dude, #rogers, #this musical has become my life, #fight me helen, #steve rogers 

743 notes

 

 **Steve (2015)**  

“I made you a Twitter,” Darcy informed him over breakfast. Sam gave Darcy a wide-eyed look from his breakfast smoothie.

“Why?” asked Steve, pausing in his demolishing of a huge plate of spam and eggs. It was polite and relentless. Tony was standing in the background, looking horrified that his canned joke meat was being eaten with gusto. He didn’t even hear the Twitter comment. 

“Because you need to stay connected with the people, Steve. And this is the best way to connect with them.” 

“Do I really? Because I don’t use the internet to Google much. Besides there are like twenty Captain America accounts or so I’m told.” 

“You still need to have some sort of social media presence, Steve. Trust me on this.” 

Steve just nodded and got the information. 

For the longest time, there was only one post to Steve’s account. It was a solitary picture of Steve Buscemi’s “How do you do, fellow kids?” meme. 

“You are such a little shit, Steve,” Sam informed said little shit. 

Steve just smirked. 

“I have to keep up with the youths, Sam.”

**_2010_ ** ****

**RECORDING OF INTERVIEW BETWEEN LIN-MANUEL MIRANDA (LMM) AND SURVIVING HOWLING COMMANDOES (GJ, JM, and TD)**

_LMM: Thank you so much for meeting with me today._  

GJ: Not a problem. 

TD: Hell. It gets us out of the old folks home. 

JM: Speak for yourself, Dum Dum. I still live by myself. 

 _Laughter_. 

JM: Oh you son of a bitch.

TD: Ain’t that why you love me, darlin’? 

JM: Married man, asshole. 

GJ: ‘sides Dugan. Your wife would rise up and smack you ‘round the head. 

TD: Ah Bess definitely would. God bless her. Right, kid, you got questions. 

_LMM: No. This is really great stuff. Like I told you all over the phone, I want to write a musical based on Steve Rogers life._

TD: Different from that piece of shit thing they did in the 80’s? 

_LMM: That was about Captain America. I’m talking about Captain Steve Rogers, sir._

GJ: Smart kid. Not many people catch the difference. 

JM: What do you want to know? 

_LMM: What he was like when you knew him, I guess._

TD: Steve Rogers was the greatest man I ever knew, and the stubbornest son of a bitch I have ever met. 

JM: He could argue with a tree if you gave him half a chance to. 

GJ: According to Barnes, one time he got so drunk that he did argue with a tree. 

JM: Really! Did I hear that story? I feel like I haven’t heard that story. I need to hear that story. 

GJ: You were busy helping Dernir with the explosives when Buck was tellin’ it. How did you even help him with that? 

JM: When you couldn’t translate? A lot of pointing and the occasional head slap. Talk about learning French under pressure. 

_LMM: I’ve heard the story about the tree. Mrs. Barnes-Proctor told it to me._

_JM and TD howl with laughter._

JM: Oh God. That’s amazing. 

TD: Good ol’ Steve. Christ. 

GJ: To answer your question, son. Steve was at his core a good man. He wanted to change the world. Probably could have to, if he lived. Believed that everyone deserved to have their shot. 

JM: Only reason Gabe and me were on that team was because Steve went to bat for us. Integrated units weren’t really a thing until after the war. Part of it was because the Howling Commandoes technically didn’t exist. 

GJ: Spec ops. No one talks, no one knows. Frankly, people cared. Steve could’ve given a rat’s ass though. The man was far from the perfect soldier. 

TD: Steve had no use for it. He went with his gut and if he wasn’t who he was he would have been written up for insubordination twenty times over. So we were off the books. 

JM: Except that everyone knew because everyone wanted to know about Captain America. So… 

GJ: We got featured in the merchandising, and there was a lot of support with Truman afterwards for integrated units ‘cause of that. Still it was… 

JM: As my grandkids would say hella racist bullshit. Steve knew a coupla artists, tried to tone it down. So did Howard Stark made sure he tried to get the rights for us. 

TD: No wanted to go against Cap. 

JM: Steve Rogers was a devious bastard. May he rest in peace. And be sure to put that in your musical, kid. He was a crafty son of a bitch and a contrary bastard when he didn’t like you. 

GJ: In my darker moments, I have a list of people that I would have loved to have seen Steve punch. 

TD: Man did punch Hitler over 200 times. 

_The group laughs._

 

**“THIS SHOT”**

_EXCERPT FROM BUZZFEED’S_ **TOP 10 ROGERS: AN AMERICAN MUSICAL SONGS**

**1) This Shot**

It was the closest tie between this song and “Satisified”, but “This Shot” just edges out. What can we say about this song? From Lin’s genius timing, fast-paced verses that trigger “asthma attacks” that sends the song throughout a dizzying training montage to the amazing declarations of inner strength, it’s literally the theme song of Steve Rogers. Nothing will encapsulate what he is about more. Plus it’s literally prime time pump up music to get you going. 

 **Fave Line:** “I know that death will always come for me/With each moment that I struggle to breathe/But I rather it be with the enemy ahead of me/Not because I want to kill another/But so I can save my fellow brothers” 

 **Roger Feels Level:** Ready to dropkick an alien in the face

**_2014_ **

It wasn’t like Lin was looking to start something because he really wasn’t. He just wanted to write a musical that he thought would be really great. 

He wanted to make Steve Rogers story more accessible to others. People see the images of Captain America, and they just see him as another part of the system that failed them. He’s propaganda. 

Lin, however, never really considered the man behind Captain America. He just thought they were the same thing. The book it helped change things as did the talks. 

Steve Rogers was just a guy from Brooklyn who wanted a better life for himself. And this was something that Lin honestly could understand. Isn’t that why he is here today? His parents wanting something better, something simultaneously definable and indefinable. 

From what he has seen in press and YouTube and interviews, Steve Rogers does seem to live up to the legend that Captain America casts. 

It’s a huge shadow to live in even when it wasn’t a hundred percent your own. Part of him would love to have a talk with the man, but he proved to be very private. 

Which, honestly, based on his research isn’t a huge surprise. 

Still he couldn’t help but wonder how Steve Rogers would eventually react over the musical.

 

**Steve (2016)**

On the day that Steve Rogers found out about _ROGERS: An American Musical_ , the man only had one thing to say. 

“People made a musical about _me_?! But I can’t even sing.”

Sam Wilson laughed so hard that he started to cry.

 

**“THE ROOM WHERE IT HAPPENED”**

Lucy considered her choices carefully. Her best friends have posed definitely the most difficult question of her life. 

Well not her life, life. It was definitely the most difficult question of her year. Of course, being sixteen, it certainly _felt_ like the most difficult question of her life. 

What was her favorite song in _ROGERS_? 

It was like asking her to do a _Sophie’s Choice_. She would have had an easier time picking her favorite sibling (Javier who was four and quiet and liked to dance with her). 

“C’mon Luce. It can’t be that hard!” 

“It is!” insisted Lucy as her brow furrowed more. She chewed her lip in contemplative silence for a few more seconds. 

“If I knew that it was going to take you this long, then I would have asked another question.” 

“You asked it!” declared Lucy. She tossed around two song ideas before settling on one. “It’s The Room Where It Happened.” 

“The transformation number that doesn’t actually hold the transformation?” 

“Yes! It’s the best song in the show and, from what I hear, the staging is really smart. I mean we have Bucky singing the song because he wasn’t there. Only a few people were there and no one is really talking. It’s still classified to all hell apparently. Not only that, it does a magician kind of thing.” 

“A what kind of thing?” 

Lucy blew impatiently at the fringe of her hair. Her hands gesticulated wildly to make her point. 

“Magician! You know look at my pretty assistant while we do the sleight of hand kind of deal? Bucky’s the pretty assistant, singing so we don’t see the quote unquote transformation that’s happening on stage. No one knows what happened but it needs to be addressed, you know? It’s really ingenious to give the song to the person who knew Steve and cared for him, but wasn’t there. He knows why it worked well on Steve just like we do.” 

“Huh.” 

Lucy rolled her eyes. 

“Tumblr would be so impressed with me right now. Just saying.”

 

**James (2015)**

The day that the man who believes himself to be some variation of Barnes, James Buchanan, Sergeant, 32557038 found out about _ROGERS: An American Musical_ was the day he got a real job. 

After studying the musical phenomenon on the library’s computers for a couple hours, James considered his options for a moment. 

Information, data, he visited the Smithsonian every day for two months until things were settled and catalogued in his head. 

He had been spending time going through the books in the library about Captain America, about loyal and stalwart Bucky Barnes. 

He stared at the image of the small figure holding up the trash can lid like a beacon. Something in the imagery… 

It woke something up. A synapse fired. A light flickered on the kind of clear blue of the summer sky, endless and blazing. 

James needed more. He wanted more. He was allowed to want things now. 

He applied for a janitorial position with the Richard Rogers theatre that afternoon.

 

**_2013_ **

The revelation that Bucky loved Steve hit Lin somewhere around two in the morning. 

“Why do you write like your running out of time?” Vanessa sighed before kissing him and heading to bed.

He watched her go. The warmth that seemed to spread throughout seemed to thrum as he watched his beautiful wife head to bed. Part of him wanted to join her, but still… 

There was work to be done. Lin had to do it. 

Namely, some more sorting through new interesting bits and bobs that the Smithsonian had sent him. With Rob’s help, he was given access to things never before viewed. Including some footage of Steve with his best friend and comrade, Bucky Barnes. 

Bucky was proving to be the hardest character for him to write. 

Sure, he had some songs written and a few funny lines. But nothing that could really be called Bucky’s own voice. It teased at him and twirled in his head. 

There was a missing piece. Something that was not clicking to have him figure it out. 

With a sigh, Lin turned back to his computer to view some of the unseen footage of Steve Rogers and the Howling Commandoes. 

It didn’t have much in the way of sound quality, but the black and white images told a lot without having to stay a word. 

They were snatches mostly, taken in the rare moments of calm and unguarded happiness. It was hard to believe that these men had become legends in their own right. Here they just look like people. 

He was watching through only pausing when a snatch of a lyric appears into his head. 

Then the clip appeared on his screen: Steve Rogers and Bucky Barnes talking and laughing. It was something in their mannerisms that had Lin sitting up. 

Nonverbal cues, someone once told him, counted for more language input than verbal ones. Our bodies tell more to the story than words. 

Now Lin loved words a lot, but he understood the meaning of a good action as well. There was something in the way Bucky Barnes looked at Steve Rogers, the way Steve Rogers looked at Bucky Barnes… 

It made his heart squeeze. 

It reminded him of photos he saw of him and Vanessa, how he would feel so in love with her that the world could see it. 

 _Love doesn’t discriminate between the sinners and the saints_ … 

Immediately, Lin grabbed his notebook as things started to click, click, click. 

The final piece to the puzzle of Bucky Barnes had fallen into place.

 

**1934**

The day Steve Rogers realized that he was in love with his best friend was a perfectly ordinary Tuesday for the pair. It was springtime and the rare time where Steve’s lungs and ailments relented enough for him to have normal bodily functions. 

Or whatever passes for normal for him. 

Steve was almost sixteen years old. His back was a little hunched and hair fell into his eyes. The ailments he had were a mile long, but everyone knew the Rogers boy was Trouble. 

He got into more fights than anyone can put together. 

Now Bucky Barnes was a nice boy. 

No one in the neighborhood really understood why such a good boy would be friends with capital T Trouble Steve Rogers. 

The two were utterly inseparable. If Bucky wasn’t such a nice boy, then well people would be talking about how often the pair spent time together. You can always watch your buddy’s back, right? Simple as that. 

Anyway, Steve knew he was in love with his best friend on early spring day. It was a day, much like on days of life changing events, very much the same to any other day. Steve woke up just as his Ma was getting in from the night shift at the hospital. They shared a small breakfast together of two-day-old bread and stretched out coffee that was more wishes and dreams than anything else. 

He went out to go meet up with Bucky to walk to school. Both his Ma and Bucky’s parents were real keen on them graduating high school. Even though, with things the way they were, it made more sense for them to drop out and get jobs to help around. 

(It would be a lie to say that Steve remembered that day with crystal clear clarity. Even though his memory improved by leaps and bounds, it was still a memory worn down by time. He was still human despite the serum in his veins and the near worshipful way people would whisper his name. 

Sometimes he wanted to remind people not to worship false idols, and Captain America was the falsest.) 

This particular day, Bucky was keeping an eye on his sisters as they dropped them off at school. His voice easy as the breeze that ruffled his hair as he talked about an upcoming test that they had that particular day. 

Most people frame love in gentle or harsh metaphors. Falling in love was like falling asleep. Falling in love was like a punch in the face. 

For Steve, looking at Bucky in the hazy morning Brooklyn sun with the sounds of city alive around him, falling in love was like getting an asthma attack. 

Or, to be honest, the realization of love was like an asthma attack. 

Steve was intimately familiar with that process. Of when he could feel one coming on, the slow constriction of his airway and the heart pounding, it felt like he was dying. After getting through another, he could feel the rush of life. 

Staring at James Buchanan Barnes and realizing this non-platonic love, it felt like the air was stuck in his lungs and that his heart was going to explode.

It felt like dying and living at the same time and feeling impossibly full.

**“WAIT FOR IT”**

_Bucky watches Steve leave._

**BUCKY**  
Stevie’s gonna write me a letter everyday  
Keepin’ the bed warm while I’m a million miles away  
He’s gonna stay in Brooklyn while I’m on the front line  
I hope he’s safe in Brooklyn because Stevie he’s mine

Love doesn’t discriminate between the sinners and the saints  
It takes and it takes and it takes  
And we keep lovin’ anyway  
We laugh and we cry and we break and we make our mistakes  
And if there’s a reason I’m by his side while so few have tried

Then I’m willing to wait for it  
I’m willing to wait for it

I sit in the church listenin’ to fire and brimstone preachers

 **MEN  
** Preachers, preachers

 **BUCKY  
** But there are things that homilies and hymns won’t teach ya

 **MEN**  
Teach ya, teach ya

 **BUCKY**  
My sisters are genius. 

 **WOMEN**  
Genius 

 **BUCKY**  
My parents demand some respect.

 **WOMEN**  
Respect

 **BUCKY**  
It feels like Steve’s dying by the day with a nonexistent legacy to protect.  
Death doesn’t discriminate between the sinners and the saints  
It takes and it takes and it takes  
And we keep dyin’ anyway  
We rise and we fall and we break and we make our mistakes  
And if there’s a reason I kept him alive when everyone who loves him has died  
Then I hope he waits for it

 **CHORUS**  
Wait for it

 **BUCKY**  
Please, Stevie, wait for it…

Wait for it!

 **CHORUS**  
Wait for it! Wait for it!

 **BUCKY**  
I am the one thing in life I can control!

 **CHORUS**  
Wait for it! X3 

 **BUCKY**  
But if it saves his life then I’ll sell my very soul! 

 **CHORUS**  
Wait for it! X3

 **BUCKY**  
I’m not falling behind or running late!

 **CHORUS**  
Wait for it! X3

 **BUCKY**  
I’m not standing still…  
I am binding weight. 

 **CHORUS**  
Wait…  
Wait…  
Wait..

 **BUCKY  
** Steve faces an endless uphill climb 

 **CHORUS  
** Climb! Climb! Climb! 

 **BUCKY**  
He thinks he’s got something prove  
He’s got somethin’ to lose 

 **CHORUS  
** Lose! Lose! Lose!

 **BUCKY  
** Steve faces relentless, he wastes no time 

 **CHORUS  
** Time! Time! Time! 

 **BUCKY**  
I dare the world to walk a mile in those shoes.  
_(quietly)_  
Stevie doesn’t hesitate. He exhibits no restraint.  
He gives and the world it takes and it takes and it takes  
He keeps losin’ anyway  
Game needs to change for him to play and to stay  
If there’s a reason he has a survived when everyone thought he would die  
Then I’m willing to wait for it  
Goddammit I’m hopin’ he waits for it  
Wait for it

 **BUCKY & CHORUS**  
Life doesn’t discriminate between the sinners and the saints  
It takes and it takes and it takes  
And we keep livin’ anyway  
We rise and we fall and we break and we make our mistakes   
And if there’s a reason I kept him alive when so few have tried  
Then I’m willing to…

 **BUCKY  
** Wait for it 

_Bucky picks up his bags, puts on his hat, and exits._

**2016**

Most people in the cast of _Rogers_ thought James the Janitor was a bit odd. He wasn’t the bad kind of odd that makes you reach for the pepper spray in your pocket. He was the kind of odd that most people expect from New York. 

He was a friendly kind of odd. The kind of odd that people thought of when they thought of the good things of New York.

James was quiet, but always willing to help. He moved with an almost odd dancers grace though it seemed one of his arms would give him trouble.

 

**“SATISFIED”**

**RECORDING OF INTERVIEW BETWEEN LIN-MANUEL MIRANDA (LMM) AND FORMER SHIELD DIRECTOR MARGARET CARTER-JONES (MCJ)**

_LMM: Thank you for seeing me, Director._

MCJ: Oh. I haven’t been that in years, Mister Miranda. Please call me Peggy. 

_LMM: Well then I’m going to have to insist on Lin. I’m glad that you could make the time to meet with me either way._

MCJ: The pleasure is all mine, really. I’m glad that someone is trying to get this story right. 

_LMM: No Betty Carver’s. I promise._

_MCJ snorts._

MCJ: Oh dear Lord. **_That_** _._ It was such utter tripe. If Steve were around during that radio show, he would either have tried to smother himself or go down and have a few words with the people making it. 

_LMM: That probably would have been interesting._

MCJ: He was very dedicated to making sure that women got their due rather than being relegated to damsels. _(laughs)_ He told me the instant he knew he was in smitten with me was when I punched out one of the other soldiers, Hodge, for disrespecting me. I had a hell of a right cross.

_LMM: I’m sure that you still do._

MCJ: Oh you’re a flatterer. Bucky was the same way. Steve, bless his soul, was never so good with women. 

_LMM: Really?_

MCJ: Oh yes. The first time we had a real conversation. It was on the way to the procedure and he was so flustered. My memory is a bit faulty, but I can still remember this. Mainly because of how adorable and failing he was at once. He pointed out all the places in Brooklyn where he got beat-up. 

_Choked laughter from LMM._

MCJ: And then he got flustered after calling me a dame because he did not want me to think he was being rude. But it was nice. 

_LMM: Nice?_

MCJ: There was an understanding, Lin. Both of us had been constantly underestimated. Both of us were not really satisfied with how the world seem to see us. Eugenics was still such a big thing at the time, and Steve was so sick. And well people saw me as a woman first and a soldier second. It was extremely vexing. 

 _LMM: I can imagine._  

_A pause._

MCJ: It’s important that the story be told, Lin. My mind isn’t what it used to be and the others are so old. That’s a bother when age finally catches up after feeling like you’re invincible for your whole life. 

_LMM: You’ve done so much. Major supporter of Civil and Women’s rights, immigration reform, first female head of a major government body…_

MCJ: And yet it doesn’t feel like enough. Steve was so brief in my life, but I think we inspired each other. He was always so certain, however, that I could change the world. I just wanted to be seen on my own merits. 

 _LMM: And you did._  

MCJ: I suppose that my greatest flaw is that I will never be satisfied. He was never satisfied.

 

**Steve (2016)**

As stated earlier, one of the informal rules about the Avengers was that they avoided media based on Steve’s life. Tony may be happy enough to show off the various films made about him. (Though he avoided the films about his father like the plague, but this story is not about Tony Stark’s mostly unresolved daddy issues of which there are numerous.) 

Still making Steve aware of _ROGERS_ was a thing that had to be done. 

Because press? Press was something that all of the Avengers had to, mostly, suck up and do. Well. That’s not _entirely_ true. 

Bruce claimed reporters made him angry. Tony thought that they should do the world a favor and just send him to Fox News, but that was reluctantly vetoed. Natasha could still do some undercover work as most of the pictures of her face are nonexistent. With a dye job and a beauty mark, people could overlook a lot of things. Clint claimed to not be good with people, which was a bit of a huge fucking lie but it wasn’t a chance that they could really take. 

Now Thor could do press, but only sometimes. They usually gave Thor the late night talk shows. Because while Thor was not stupid, he was more likely to take some things as a personal affront. So usually they had him doing more of the late night stuff because the questions were usually fairly inoffensive and outside of that one time that Thor summoned the hammer into Stephen Colbert’s studio (to be fair Colbert wanted to see it), property damage was at a minimum. 

Plus the video of him doing Carpool Karaoke with James Corden was absolutely amazing. Who knew that Thor loved pop music so much? 

Tony Stark is both excellent and not at press. Do his previous press conferences really need to be brought up? He knows how to work a room. He knows how to simultaneously charm reporters and get under his skin. He also knows how to derail a press conference in less than ten seconds. Nominally, he’s one of the main faces used for press. 

Sam Wilson is a new face to the Avengers, but he does press like a champ. He is charming. He is funny. He is thoughtful and well-informed. He is passionate but not overly so. The Avengers PR team worshipped at the altar of Sam Wilson because he did not give them headaches. Or, at least, he tried not to give them headaches. 

Steve Rogers did not like doing press. He could be charming, presentable, all All American smiles. He just didn’t really like it that much. It felt just as fake and plasticky as it did on the bond circuit. Sometimes, he was close to breaking it. Like the time he nearly got into a fist fight with a Fox News anchor. 

Steve just felt like he had more important things to do than press. Sometimes, however, the PR team liked to go through what he should know with him. 

“They’re going to ask you about the musical, Steve,” said Rabiah. She looked as cool and collected as ever with her rose colored hijab and her pant suit. At times, Steve wished he had that level of poise that she seemed to. 

“Why? I just found out about it.”

“It’s blowing up. A once a decade sensation, they think it’s going to run for a very long time.

Steve winced. 

“It’s not a bad thing, Steve.” 

“I just…it’s weird, okay? I just find it weird that people made movies and stuff about me. It was bizarre enough doing the bonds circuit. Can’t I just not do press until it dies down? Please?” 

Rabiah looked sympathetic and gentled her voice. 

“I don’t think this is something that is going to die down, Steve. But well the Winter Soldier case is still very active. I can move some things around, ask that people give you your privacy. But you will have to do something in the near future. Apparently, the musical has a ticket on hold for you.” 

Steve knew that was the best he could get. 

“Thank you.”

Rabiah smiled, “Don’t thank me for doing my job. Good luck looking for your friend.”

 

**“What’d You Need?”**

The #Rog2Rog streetshow was a simple concept. Rotating members of the cast would do a little performance for the lottery to win tickets for 10 dollars. The number came from a relatively recent interview with the Captain who said that he really admired Treasury Secretary Alexander Hamilton. 

It seemed to be the best option. All of their other options were kind of stupidly expensive for a lottery ticket. So it was the best that they could come with. 

Plus, they like to think Steve Rogers would approve. James the Janitor, who could be seen reading a ton of history books on Rogers during his break (and probably knew about as much as Lin), seemed to give his blessing. 

So they became their own little attraction for fans and tourists: a little New York oddity. 

The first Avenger to show their face around the theatre of _Rogers_ was Tony Stark. 

It was surprising and unsurprising. Yes, Lin had to get permission to use Howard Stark’s image for the show. During one particularly terrifying meeting with Pepper Potts, he was granted permission. But it was pretty much wildly acknowledged, though never ever said aloud, that Tony Stark had issues with his late father. 

So it was a surprise when Stark crashed a #Rog2Rog which had Daveed singing his solo Howard Stark number in all its flamboyant glory. 

It went something like this. The song was being played on kazoos by some of the swing members. Lin was beatboxing. Pippa, Renee, and Antony were acting as back-up singers. Daveed, as usual, was killing it. 

 _“What’d you need! What’d you need! I’ll give you that Stark guarantee. I’ve been overse-_ Holy shit that’s Tony Stark.” 

Watching the video of it, it was actually pretty hilarious. Tony Stark just strolling up to the barrier like you do. It was like someone hit paused on a video.

Then the crowd started bursting forth and cheering like mad. The kind of crazed cheering that only fans could really do. 

“DUDE!” exclaimed Lin all nervous energy into his mic. “Welcome! Let him through guys! Today’s Rog2Rog is insane! We have with us Mister Tony Stark!” 

Stark flashed a peace sign to the crowd, who continued losing their damn minds. 

“And who are these people?” asked Stark into a hastily procured microphone. 

“WE’RE ROGERS TRASH!” 

Lin laughed a bit hysterically, “That’s what the kids do these days. They like something and they’re the trash of the thing.” 

“I know for I am Lord of the Trash.” 

The crowd roared in approval.

“Although I have to admit next Stark Expo I should have Daveed open instead. He’ll probably inspire more confidence in my investors.” 

“Whatever you need,” Daveed said. “Fucking Iron Man of course.”

 

**Bucky (2015)**

The mess of his mind was a lot let messy. Sam, one of the dancers, turned him onto yoga and meditation. He said that his mind was a mess sometimes too, and he had to meds for it. But he also like meditating and keeping limber. 

James, or Bucky sometimes on the better days, wasn’t sure how much medication would help the particular level of mess his mind seemed to be. But he liked the quiet when he wakes in the morning and meditates. The sounds of New York were different from his fuzzed memories yet familiar. 

There was a sense in his gut as he woke up from a fitful sleep in the small studio he had under the name of Yakov Petrov. His nightmares were silent affairs. Even in his sleep, some part of him knew crying out would draw unwanted attention. 

His job as a janitor was decent work. He ghosted through the theatre to do his rounds, but those there seemed to like him. He didn’t know why they liked him. It wasn’t like he went out of his way to be friendly, but maybe they were just a friendly group. 

It was strange, but a nice kind of strange.

The musical, however, he has seen and heard snippets of it. He hasn’t brought himself to perch and watch, hidden from the world. But the little bits and bobs he’s heard, the actors the perform them. 

It sounds familiar, not the words. But the story sounds…. It sparks memories: a smell of the ocean, scratchy bed sheets, corn silk hair in the winter sunlight. 

“James?” 

He snapped back to himself. 

“Having one of those kinds of days?” asked Luka, his supervisor. 

“Sorry.” 

“Nah. I wouldn’t worry about it much. You’re a good worker, kid. Sometimes we all have those days where our mind wants to wander.” 

“Thanks. For understanding.” 

Luka gently clapped him on his shoulder. 

“No problem.” 

 _“This is a new kind of helpless,”_ drifted Lin’s voice from the stage.

 

**“HELPLESS”**

**rogers-trash-kisses** posted 

So like I was thinking about “Helpless” today and what a goddamn marvel of musical number. Like it’s kind of amazing that it took so long to get this kind of song, you know? 

Essentially, it’s a male version of a lot of songs that women get where they sing about how amazing and special this new man in their life is. And like LMM and Steve Rogers shall have none of this bullshit. 

Like he sees Peggy Carter punch out a guy, and he’s kind of in love instantly. Like full on starry-eyed, it’s amazing. And like then “This Shot” takes over and everything gets HELLA INTENSE, but like it’s amazing this song exists. That Steve declares this instant love of Peggy Carter because she punches an asshole in the face. 

(And like, legit respect to Renee Elise Goldsberry and Anthony Ramos for knocking that fight choreography out of the park on a nightly basis.) 

It’s just really nice to know that this kind of musical number exists in the world, you know? 

Tags: #marie rambles, #rogers, #helpless, #peggy carter, #steve rogers, #bless this musical 

874 notes

 

**Steve (2016)**

He wasn’t avoiding listening to the soundtrack. He wasn’t. 

Steve was just not putting it high on his list of priorities at the moment. There were still leads, whispers to track down. Because he wanted to bring Bucky home, or at least give him the choice. 

Bucky hasn’t had a lot of choices in the seventy years Steve slept away. 

Steve, however, didn’t like the idea of his best friend having to work through the horrors of the Winter Soldier and HYDRA alone. But if Bucky wanted to, then Steve would respect it. 

He loved Bucky too much to not respect his choices. 

Steve just wanted to offer a different choice first. Stark had everyone from art therapists to psychiatrists to specialists ready to come in. Thor even offered what he called “mind healing” for warriors for whom the battle stayed with. Natasha had her own unique perspective of such matters and the recovery that went along with it. Clint had his own brush with your mind not being your own under Loki. And Bruce well…yeah. 

Sam was staring at Steve who was sifting through the various papers and files on his desk. 

“You know…” 

Steve had to bite back a groan. He and Sam had gotten very close over the past year or so. Steve was very resolute in not using Sam to solve his problems. Because Sam was his friend and exploiting his training like that was just not the way a friendship makes. 

Still once in a blue moon, Sam would say “You know…” like _that_. Then Steve was going to have to feel things and answer stuff. And it usually ended with him and Sam both snotty and crying because they’ve both went through similar traumas and losses. And one of the things that Steve liked about the 21st century was how demonstrative he could be. 

“Sam.” 

“I didn’t say anything, man. I am not saying anything at all. Look I get it. I would feel so very awkward to have my life made into movies and stuff, too. Plus my sisters would tease me forever. Like I will be dead and up in Heaven, God willing, and they would be there still teasing me for those movies. And I will try to smother myself on a cloud.” 

Steve snorted at that. He still kept his focus on what was in front of him. If he made eye contact with Sam, then he knew it was game over. 

“But you’re gonna have to listen to it. Stark’s already seen it. Twice. Sometimes, when he’s really bored. He goes and crashes their lottery shows. And it’s taking the threat of Natasha and Pepper AND Banner combined to keep the man from singing at you or having one of the songs play whenever you enter the room.” 

Now Steve was feeling the urge to smother himself. He sighed. 

Sam could sense that he was weak, and pounced. 

“C’mon. I’ll listen to it with you. Thor brought back some of that Asgard stuff. I’ve got it in your fridge. We’ll drink. We’ll listen. And probably do the ugly cry. It’ll be bonding.” 

Steve looked up and at Sam. He put down the files. 

Damn those eyes. 

“Okay.” 

“Jarvis?” 

“Now playing the soundtrack to _Rogers: An American Musical._ I’ll make sure you two are left alone tonight.” 

“You’re the best.” 

Steve sat next to Sam on his couch. The lights dimmed around them. Below, New York glittered like a sea of stars. A galaxy of a million people with a million lives lit up in the night. 

The music started and a silky voice broke through the apartment. 

_“How does a half-dead orphan born in the middle of a forgotten spot in the tenements of New York without a father and raised by a single mother grow up to be the first and only super soldier?”_

**_2014_ ** ****

A twenty-something sat with the backdrop of a semi-neat room. Around her are various framed posters of musicals along the walls.

She’s vibrating with the mix of mania from not sleeping in three days and one too many cups of coffee. 

“OH. MY. GOD.” 

She pauses. 

“OH! Sorry! Intro! Hi! I’m Jocelyn and welcome to Musicals and What Not. The show where I mostly talk about musicals whether what we consider to be traditionally a musical or something a little more non-traditional. Sorry! This is a little rushed and messy because finals and performance pieces and so much stuff. But I’m so freaking excited because the New York Public Theatre has announced their shows for 2015. And you guys will not believe what is on it.” 

She holds up a print-out, holding it up to the camera. 

“ROGERS! OhmyGod I was so worried that they were going to scrap it when it came out that Captain Goddamn America had risen like King Arthur. But they didn’t and bless them.” 

She hugs the paper to her chest. 

“So I’ve talked about _In the Heights_ before, right?” 

An edited scream cuts in. She winces. 

“Right. So I totally have. And that’s fine. I may or may not have a little crush on Lin-Manuel Miranda. Anyway when Obama was first in office, Lin was invited to perform and instead of doing a song from _In The Heights_. He did someone, who he felt, embraced the spirit of hip-hop: Captain Steve Rogers. Yeah go ahead. Laugh. People did and then Lin did the opening song and it was magical. And a couple years ago, I may have snuck into a performance of the first act at Vassar which was amazing. Like…” 

She stares off for a minute. 

“So. So amazing. Anyway, I am going to claw and fight to get tickets to this. Mark my words. This show is going to change the game. Period.”

 

**Bucky (2016)**

Luka insisted that he take a day off because he was “making them look bad” by working so many hours. He liked the work though. Still, here he was wandering through a farmer’s market on a sunny Thursday for some fresh fruit.

He had been doing some reading about regaining lost memories. Even though he wasn’t sure this was what people had in mind. He was going to try and buy some fresh plums. 

There was a recollection, hazy and indistinct, of a time when fresh fruit was a treat. Even though “fresh” could be a charitable description for some mealy apples and something that was tinned. 

Either way, he had a real appreciation for fresh produce. Despite the fact that it could cost more than he could afford at times.

But well that’s why he raided various HYDRA safe houses in the early days. Back when he knew that he had lost something and they had taken it. So he was going to reclaim things back through their blood and resources. 

Until the fight had left him, and he was bone tired. 

He didn’t realize he was staring so intently at the plums. 

“Whoa. Are you trying to blow them up or something?” the vendor joked a little. 

He startled out of it. With still rusty muscles flashed an awkward smile before paying for his plums. 

He walked down the street. His bag swinging in his hand while the other held the plum. Almost contemplatively, he threw the plum into the air once before biting into it. The juice staining his lips. 

Like a half remembered song, a thought that would once flit across his mind a thousand times a day, wondered what Steve’s lips would look like stained- 

_Oh._

Well then, things were suddenly making much more sense to the man formerly known as a Winter Soldier. The earth shattering revelation that he was once in love with Steve Rogers was boxed up and placed to the side. He was getting very good at compartmentalizing. 

With bag in hand and a tilted worldview, he began to head home. 

It was quiet downtown.

 

**“IT’S QUIET UPTOWN”**

It was the precarious time between winter and spring. Green buds struggled to shoot through the snow. It was like the Earth was having trouble shaking the chill in the air. The sky, however, was a bright and sunny blue that would beckon children out to play and lift spirits. 

It was cold, but well it was also such a nice day. The gunmetal winter gray sky seemed to have been banished for the moment. 

The graveyard was silent. 

It was an older cemetery: one of the many that dotted New York. People were born near it, lived near it, and were, eventually, buried in it. Even if a body wasn’t found. 

Sometimes there were visitors, but there haven’t been many new plots available for a while. 

Steve was a weekly visitor when he had the chance. Sometimes, with his line of work, it wasn’t entirely feasible. Still he came when he could with two huge bouquets. He walked to the graves, leaving flowers on each, and clearing out what had withered after he left. 

He would talk to some, pray at others, and avoided his like the plague. It was strange, seeing his name on a gravestone. 

Although, he will admit, something in him did die when he went under. 

Even though Bucky was alive, he still visited the grave of his best friend. Maybe to a renew a promise, maybe to admit that the man he once knew was dead in a different way. Like the boy that Bucky knew was dead. 

There was a pain in loving and losing. Steve was quickly becoming an expert in that: Bucky, Peggy, Bucky again. There was something indescribable about having that moment slide out of your hands like water. 

It was an ache in his chest that Steve was growing used. The chasm that cannot quite be filled with Natasha’s smile, Sam’s hand on his shoulder, the feeling of friendship surrounding him. No. No that ache was something that was broken, and he was hoping (wishing, praying) that Bucky’s or James’s or whoever he is now can fit with him. 

“I don’t know why I come here. There isn’t much to say. And yet…it’s so peaceful. I know both our minds aren’t that way anymore. You’d like it in midtown, Buck. It’s quiet there.” 

Steve took a ragged breath, scrubbing at his face like a little boy. In the silence of the graveyard, he allowed himself to voice what he was thinking. 

The dead listen to the secrets of the living because the dead have none one to tell them to after all. 

“I miss you. You’re out there somewhere and I miss you so much. And I...there’s a hole in my heart. Sometimes I just run the length of the city because it feels so quiet without you there. And the only time I liked the quiet was when you were near.” 

He allowed himself a few more tears. Even in the graveyard, Steve still felt too vulnerable to fully let his emotions go free. It was a pitiful sight, but the dead have no more pity to give to the living. The living can only pity each other. 

After he calmed himself, Steve rested a hand on the gravestone. 

His figure was a solitary one cut in dark blue as he turned and left the graveyard. 

In the distance, James Barnes watched Steve leave.

He never really liked the quiet before.

 

**_2016_ ** ****

**dat-booty-doh** posted 

 _ROGERS_ GETS A HISTORIC SIXTEEN TONY NOMINATIONS! 

LIN-MANUEL MIRANDA WINS A PULITIZER FOR THE MUSICAL! 

STEVE ROGERS IS GOING TO SEE THE SHOW! 

IT’S GOING TO BE THOR VERSUS TONY STARK ON LIP SYNC BATTLE! 

My skin is clear. The air smells better. Maybe if we do a prayer circle, then we can have Captain Fucking America punch Donald Trump in the face. 

Oh God the _Avengers_ feels are real. The _Rogers_ feels are real. Everything is beautiful and nothing hurts at all.

tags: #file under days that do not suck, #rogers, #avengers, #thor, #precious muffin lin manuel miranda 

45 notes

 

 **Steve (2016)**  

The beginning of the end starts, as most of these things do, with Tony Stark. 

Which, perhaps, really isn’t fair to say. The real beginning of the end started when Steve sat down and listened to the musical with Sam. 

Or perhaps when he went to go visit Bucky’s grave after listening to it. 

Either way, Spring was in full force and Steve felt very grateful toward Mister Miranda. It was a hazier gratefulness at this point in time. It wasn’t like the cut sharp gratefulness he felt after listening to the end of the musical: a discordant mess of noises to symbolize his waking up in the 21st century. 

Because for the first time, he felt like someone in the general public had _understood_. That Captain America was an image, but Steve Rogers was just a man. Steve Rogers loved both Bucky Barnes and Peggy Carter. Steve Rogers felt like his breath would just leave his body because all of his ideas were just too big for it. Steve was still that little guy on the inside, a bit wearier and broken in a different, but still fundamentally a good man. 

And he didn’t think that people understood that anymore. It was a level of insight that was amazing and made Steve so grateful. 

He still did not go and see the show. 

Until, however, Tony came down to the gym while Steve was doing some yoga. His sunglasses slid down his nose as if on a command as he raised an eyebrow at Steve. 

Steve was doing the Downward Facing Dog and made a face. 

“Really?” asked Tony with an incredulous sort of tone. 

“It helps keep me flexible.” 

“Uh. Huh.” 

A pause. 

“You know if we put this on YouTube I can promise we would go viral like within five minutes. Let’s break the Internet, Steve. It’s been months since I’ve done it.” 

Steve rarely got headaches anymore, but he could feel his temple throb a little.

“Why are you here, Tony?”

“You need to go and see the musical. People are thinking that you’re like opposed to it or something. And we both know that you’re not. You sent Lin that lovely care package. But like you haven’t seen it and the public are vultures. Plus the show was nominated for sixteen Tonys'.” 

Steve righted himself so he could give Tony his full attention. His brain was already firing away on all synapses. Because no, the one thing that actually got him right is not going down in flames. 

“They think I hate it?” 

Tony nodded. 

“Yeah. And the moral outrage is Hulk levels.” 

Even though Steve has gotten slightly better at thinking before acting, he still could fall into old habits. The words tumbled out of his mouth before his brain finished processing. 

“Okay. Make it happen.”

 

**“THE TEN RULES OF COMBAT”**

Here are the ten things that you need to know the night Steve Rogers went to go see _ROGERS: An American Musical_. 

1) Sam went with him as his date for the evening. Avenger, or no, there was no way his ass was getting into the musical one way or another. He wasn’t dropping several thousand and possibly plasma for theatre tickets. Please. 

2) For the first time in memory of the support staff, James called in sick. No one noticed the shadowed figure in the rafters that watched the musical all night. 

3) The cast of _Rogers_ were trying very. hard. indeed. to treat this like a regular show. It really wasn’t working. Like at all. It was a collective freak-out that only those in theatre could have. You think performing for the President or Beyoncé or Tony Stark was hard? Try performing for the person that the musical was actually about.

4) The whole theatre was actually rather respectful. No one tried to take a picture of Steve when some tears leaked out of Steve’s eyes. No one tried to film him. No one had their phones out. Period. Maybe people were scared that the Black Widow would come out of the shadows and take them out. Or maybe, for once, humanity decided not to suck. 

5) Even though Phillipa Soo looked nothing like his mother and her Irish accent was a little ridiculous, Steve thought they sounded alike. And it made him choke up in a way that he hadn’t in years. 

6) Steve let a sob escape from his mouth once in the second act when the man (Leslie Odom Jr) playing Bucky “fell” off the train and through the trap door on stage. Sam cleared his throat very loudly to cover it up because bros. 

7) Steve and Lin-Manuel Miranda had a private conversation away from everyone else when the show ended. No one knows what was said, both parties refuse to divulge it, but they both came out red-eyed and smiling. 

8) Steve went around to each person in the cast, shook their hand, and would say something. The main cast, those who played people he loved, were told what those they were playing would think of them. There were more tears shed. 

9) Approximately a billion pictures with the cast were taken with only a few going up on social media. 

10) As things were winding down, Steve caught sight of a flash metal in the shadows. This is when he left. 

Time to know what went down in the room where it happened. 

 

**Bucky and Steve (2016)**

Steve looked around the backstage area. He could have sworn... 

He thought he saw. 

“Buck?” he called tentatively. 

The air filled with tension. Suddenly, he was there. It was Bucky. Steve felt like he was drowning all over again. 

“Buck?” 

He looked…better. Maybe not at 100%, but there was less of that coldness in his eyes. It looked like Bucky had reclaimed his humanity. Or something. Steve’s mind was stuttering, frozen. It felt like the entire world had shut down in that moment. 

Bucky smiled. It was a smaller one. There was a hint of dimple and an upturn of his full lips. His eyes were a little wet as well. 

“Hey punk.” 

Steve laughed wetly. 

“Hey jerk.” 

Bucky walked toward him, and Steve met him halfway. They just stared at each other with a million unsaid words and deeds and things between them all. It stretched, a chasm. 

But one that they can cross. 

Bucky took a step. 

“I’m ready to come home now.” 

Steve took another. 

“I’m hoping you would want to. I missed you, Buck.” 

“I missed you before I knew what I was missing,” Bucky laughed a little wetly. “Jesus Christ, Stevie, two minutes together and you turned me into sucha sap.” 

He leaned his forehead against Steve’s. 

There was time enough for other things. There was time for grand declarations of love. There was time for hard fucks bathed in angry followed by hot breathed apologies. There was time for love and time to fight and times to nearly die yet again. There was time for Bucky to make fun of Steve’s godawful singing, but the slow dancing they did would be nice. There was time for friends to come over: all of the Avengers at all hours. 

There was time to climb into bed and lay in each other others. 

There was time for that first kiss between them in the summer sun of an Avengers Tower balcony that gets interrupted by a Thor-induced rain shower. 

There is time enough for a billion kisses, a billion actions, words of love and lust and hope and anger and pain and life. 

This is the end, but also a beginning too. It’s a step home and step to something that sets the soul aflame. 

Right now, it’s just Steve and Bucky as it has always been and always will be. 

“Steve?” called Sam in concern. 

Steve squeezed Bucky’s hand, pulling him along as he opened the door. 

“In here, I have someone that wants to come home with us.” 

People lived and died and wrote their stories.

Now it was time for them to write their own.


	2. Other Bits Of Songs

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just some misc song lyrics from ROGERS that didn't make the final cut

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! 
> 
> I made a post about this on Tumblr, but decided to add some stuff here as well.
> 
> These are just song bits that didn't make the cut of the final version.

**“BURN”**

**STEVE**  
I’m erasing myself from this narrative  
Let future historians wonder  
About Steve Rogers heart  
They will never get that start

I’ve watched my world burn  
Captain American has no right to my heart  
The world has no right to my head  
They won’t get to know what I said

I’m burning these memories   
That might have stopped you  
From swallowing me up  
Into the Captain America legacy

 

**“THIS SHOT”**

**STEVE**  
Not throwin’ away this shot.  
The Army has taken me.  
Reluctantly, uncertainly.  
Erksine wants me to succeed  
Take the lead.  
On this project based on this insane logic.  
 That personality is the key to unlock the perfect human being.  
  
But wait!  
Here’s the thing!  
No one is perfect.  
Not even me. I got something to prove.  
A smart attitude.  
 Something new to challenge.   
The World needs to see.  
I deserve to breathe.  
Eugenics can go fuck me.  
The Army boys bullies with weapons and perfect health can go back on that goddamn shelf.  
Line up! Rise up!  
 Buck was right.  
I do got somethin’ to prove that I’ve been fightin’ with my piss poor attitude.

My reactions are compassion to those in the world.  
But the attitude is all you see  
Fuck you for thinking that my rashness is brashness.  
This is my chance to show the world that I am so much.  
Fuck it.  
 I’ve been sayin’ this all before. But this is my shot.  
My time is burning red hot.  
Time is tickin’ and I missin’ and I am  
_(wheezing)_

Take a breath. 

Breathe.  
Why why why  
_(wheeze)_  
Does my body keep on betrayin’ me?  
I gotta show.  
I gotta prove that I have what it takes to make this world a better place.  
I refuse to accept the world for what it is.  
Can’t anyone see?   
I see the world for it can be.  
So I wanna challenge everyone to fucking  change it with me.  
I take the time, use my heart, use my mind.  
Do not take my attitude as being a poor mouthy Irish upstart.  
So I take that goddamn flag from the top  
Win a ride back with Agent Carter.  
I’m pretty sure that it’s not the arrhythmia that’s making my heart pound harder.

 

**“THE ROOM WHERE IT HAPPENED”**

**BUCKY**  
I wasn’t in the room where it happened  
The room where it happened  
And it’s probably a good thing  
Because I would have stopped it  
Before it even begun

Steve wants to do his duty  
But he has another thing coming  
If he thinks he will die   
After so much time I put in  
To make sure that he kept living

LATER

**BUCKY/STEVE/SENATOR BRANDT**  
The art of the compromise!

_Bucky flicks Steve in the ear_

**BUCKY**  
Hold your nose

 **STEVE**  
Close your eyes

 **BUCKY**  
You want that hero to save the day?

 **STEVE**  
You don’t get a say in what the proganda says

 **BUCKY**  
You dreamed of a brand new start

 **STEVE**  
I dreamed in the dark for the most.  
Dark as a the tomb where it happened.

_A sigh._

_Bucky exits stage left._

**STEVE**  
I’m glad he wasn’t in the room where it happened.

_“Star-Spangled Man” plays offstage._

**CHORUS  
** (spoken)  
The dancing monkey remix

_Circus music is layered over it._

_Steve trudges off stage right._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not Lin-Manuel Miranda. So uh yeah hahahaha.

**Author's Note:**

> Come and say hi at my [Tumblr](http://hopenight.tumblr.com/)! 
> 
> Thanks for reading!


End file.
